Prepare in advance: Freeze breast milk into ice cubes.
If you'd like to make your own oatmeal, grind oatmeal in a food processor and sift. Measure 1 1/2 to 2 tablespoons, set aside. Colloidal oatmeal can be purchased instead.
Measure your essential oil and add kaolin clay. Mix well. Set aside.
Prepare an Ice Bath.
Gather all your soap-making supplies before beginning. Work in a well-ventilated area and be sure to wear the appropriate safety equipment. Gloves, goggles, long sleeves, long pants, and shoes.
Place your stainless steel bowl (or heat-safe bowl, NO glass) on your digital scale and tare the weight to zero. Measure your frozen breast milk. Cubes of frozen milk can be cut to get an exact measurement.
Place your stainless steel bowl into an ice bath bowl.
At this step, you need to begin wearing your safety equipment, goggles and gloves.
NOTE: Always tare scale before each measurement.
Measure lye into a glass container (I use a sacrificed mason jar).
Keep the bowl with the breast milk in the ice bath. Add lye in small batches, just a little at a time and stir. WARNING: The mixture will get VERY hot! As the breast milk cubes begin to melt, add more lye, continuing in small batches.
After all the lye has been added, continue stirring until all the lye is completely dissolved. Stir longer than you think. I look for signs of undissolved lye on the side of my bowl and spatula. Lye is completely dissolved when the temperature is no longer increasing, check the temperature using a digital or infrared thermometer. You can strain the lye mixture through a strainer to remove undissolved lye prior to mixing with oils if you desire. Once the lye is completely dissolved, set it aside. I remove the bowl from the ice bath at this time.
Measure oils in order of longest melt time.
Start with cocoa butter, measure, and melt partially in a double boiler.
Measure and add shea butter to the cocoa butter.
Measure coconut oil, and add it to the other butters. Stir until completely melted.
Measure olive oil, avocado oil, and castor oil and add to the melted butters.
Mix the melted butters and oils completely together. You can use a stick blender. See notes below on how to "burp" the stick blender.
Take the temperature of both mixtures, the lye solution and the oils. The ideal temperature for soap making when using milk is between 70 to 80 degrees. Ideally, the two mixtures should be within 10 to 15 degrees of each other.
Be sure to use a heat-safe bowl at this time. Add the lye mixture to the oils. Pour the lye mixture over the handle of the spatula to lessen air added to the mixture.
This is where saponification will take place. Using your stick blender and spatula, mix the mixture until trace. It's best to use your stick blender in short bursts. This takes time. Just keep mixing. Trace is achieved when drizzled soap from the stick blender holds its shape. Medium trace looks like pudding.
Add the sifted oatmeal (if using). Stir.
Once you achieve medium trace, add fragrance oils. Mix well. Be aware that fragrances can accelerate trace, be prepared to work quickly.
Once the fragrance is mixed well, pour it into the soap mold. Use a spoon to shape the top. If you want to add any decorative touches to the top, it's time to do it now.
Spray the soap mixture lightly with alcohol to prevent soda ash.
Allow soap to set up in the mold. I keep mine in a cooler where it can not be disturbed by animals or children.
NOTES: On the day you are making your soap, continue to wear the safety equipment while you clean your bowls and equipment.
After 24 to 48 hours, remove the soap from the mold and cut it into bars. Allow the soap to cure on a wire rack where it gets good air flow. Be sure it's away from animals and children for 6 weeks.
Once the soap is fully cured, it is safe to use.