My First Calf Sharing Mistakes and the Lessons They Taught Me

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Calf sharing is a great way to enjoy the benefits of owning a family milk cow, but not be overwhelmed with milk. As a first-time cow owner, we jumped in feet first with not just one Dexter milk cow but three! Anticipating the birth of our third calf on the homestead, I wanted to look back at the challenges and mistakes we made along the way to improve not only our milk production but also the management of our cow-calf operations. As a first time cow owner, here are the most important lessons I learned from our rookie calf sharing mistakes. 

What is Calf Sharing?

Calf sharing is a practice of farm management where calves are raised by their mothers but separated for a limited amount of time each day to allow the owner to enjoy the benefits of “sharing” the milk with the calf. Typically calves are separated for approximately 12 hours and then milked by the owner. After milking the cow, we return the calf to its mother for the rest of the day. Since a cow’s milk production is based on demand, the cow will produce enough milk for her calf and the family’s needs through this sharing arrangement. 

Calf sharing is most commonly practiced by homesteads and small farms. It provides flexibility in owning a dairy animal. Since the new calf can be left with its mother for an extended time the farmers can choose to skip a milking. The calf will continue to nurse eliminating the risk of mastitis. This is especially helpful if you need to be out of town. It’s also a means of limiting your milk supply, if you are overwhelmed with the amount of milk your family cow is providing. 

Calf Sharing and the Dexter Cow

We have chosen to keep Dexter cows on our homestead.  They are a good dual-purpose breed that allows us to enjoy the best of both worlds. Dexters provide both dairy and beef production in the same animal. Dexter cows are smaller than most cows, making the amount of milk and beef more manageable for the small family or homestead. For us, it’s a benefit that Dexter’s produces less milk. Many Dexter owners report 1 1/2 gallons to 2 gallons of milk a day when practicing calf sharing. While it’s a far cry from the milk produced by dairy cattle it’s still plenty of milk for drinking, cooking, and cheesemaking!

Valuable Lessons I Learned

While I have plenty of experience with farm animals, both Philip and I were brand-new cow owners. We had done a lot of research before purchasing cattle, but still, there is nothing like boots on the ground to teach the most valuable lessons. These are some of the lessons I learned from my first calf sharing mistakes.

Mistake #1: Not Training My Cows Before They Calved

When Philip and I moved to the homestead, two of the three cows we purchased were bred. Both Meg and Cayenna were due within just a month of each other. There was not a lot of time to learn from our mistakes between the two cows so I consider them a combined learning experience.

We moved to an undeveloped farm having only basic infrastructure to get started. When we arrived, we had only a small paddock,  no barn, and no milking area. We were knee-deep in the work of getting the basic needs of the cattle met. Therefore we didn’t spend a lot of time training them. No time at all in fact.

Meg enjoyed back scratches and would allow me to touch her, but she was not halter broken. Cayenna wouldn’t allow me to touch her at all. She was friendly, but I wasn’t even sure I would be able to milk her. While I knew we needed to be working with them we didn’t have a milking stanchion yet.

My advice to new cow owners, make the time! Training your future milk cow should be priority one. It’s hard enough dealing with the hormonal aspects of a first-time mama after she gives birth. You don’t want to add the extra stress of adding a lot of new routines and expectations. 

The Consequences

While we were successful in teaching both of our cows to be milk cows it was a lot of work. Not to mention, it was pretty scary at times!  Meg was a first-time freshener who head-butted Philip when he got too close to her calf. Cayenna would literally get on her knees and crawl when we tried to lead her to the milking stanchion! Both would charge the fences when we separated their newborn calves. Fearing they might jump over, I would keep a sharp eye on them to be ready for anything.

Learning From My Mistake

With our third heifer, Ellie, we tried to correct this mistake. By the time she freshened, we had the infrastructure in place that we needed to train her.  Each day when we milked the other two cows, we spent time training Ellie.  She waited her turn like the other cows, having her morning grain in the stanchion. While you should never try to milk a dry cow or heifer, Ellie got belly rubs. She learned all of the commands that I used with the other cows and was familiar with the equipment.

Purchase a Trained Milk Cow

While cows were new to me, I had years of experience with farm animals. When I was afraid of my Mom-zilla Milk Cow, I knew she couldn’t know that! I forced myself to face those cows and show them that I was the Boss Cow! For safety, I kept a stick in hand so that I could defend myself if needed. Though I never used it as a training tool on my cattle, I carried it for protection. (Fortunately I never needed it.)Thankfully, my bluff worked! Philip and I worked together to successfully train the two milk cows. 

If you are new to cows, and especially if you are new to farm animals, a trained milk cow is worth her weight in gold! She will be worth every penny you pay for her! You benefit from the hard work of her previous owner who taught her the ropes. Even if she is trained, cattle thrive with routine! Spend time daily continuing her education. Build your milking routine even if your cow is not in milk. She will thrive on routine which will make your first milking experience so much easier!

Mistake #2: Not Milking Frequently Enough

In these early days, I made the mistake of only milking once a day until I weaned my first calf. In the first few months of lactation, you should milk your cow twice a day. I know, I know, this seems to go against the plan of calf sharing! Isn’t the whole idea that you don’t need to milk when you don’t want to? In these early days, while the calf needs less milk, you make up the difference by taking the excess and building the milk supply you want. As the calf grows, their milk needs will increase. At that time you can lessen your milking routine, possibly milking just once a day. By then you have built a strong milk supply for your cow. While the joy of calf sharing is flexibility, an important consideration in your share arrangements is learning to manage your milk cow’s supply. 

Mistake #3: Not Taking Enough Milk

Another big mistake I made with my first two milk cows was not taking enough milk. In the first few months of a cow’s lactation, they build their milk supply based on the demand for milk needed. A newborn calf can not possibly drink all the milk produced by many dairy cows. It’s during these early weeks, that you will help set the demand of the milk needed for your milk cow.  This is where the calf share part of milk sharing can get tricky.  As a good cow mama, I have two goals. I want to be sure to leave enough milk for my calf but I still need to create demand. 

Most experienced farmers will tell you to take all the milk you can, the cow will make more.  While this is certainly true. I also believe that this leads to calves that damage the cow’s udder because they are hungry after being separated for 12 hours. Some farmers choose to only fully milk out a few of the cow’s quarters, leaving the rest for the calf. It’s also not necessary to strip a cow dry when calf sharing. This is one of the perks of calf sharing, the calf will efficiently strip the udder of the cows milk. 

When working through how much milk to take, I like to watch my calves.  As the calf nurses, watch that they seem satisfied and the calf’s needs are met.  I love seeing the frothy mouth of a healthy calf! If they seem frustrated or aggressive as they eat, consider adjusting the amount of milk you take. Possibly adjust the timetable of when you return the calf to the cow. allow the cow time to begin replenishing their milk supply before the calf tries to nurse. 

Mistake #4: Separating My Calf Too Soon

With my first dairy cow, I was very eager to get started! While we didn’t milk routinely until the calves were about 2 weeks old we jumped right into separation at that time. We kept our calves in a separate paddock where they could see their babies, still, this was very stressful for our cows. Remember Mom-zilla, these sudden changes are what caused the transformation! To more easily lock my calves up, I found it easiest to remove my cows from the field. They loved going with the herd in the big field, so they eagerly headed out. However, when they realized I was going to be chasing their calves around and locking them up, they saw this newfound freedom in a different light! 

Changes to Our Separation Plan

With our third cow, I am handling separation much differently. First, I am going to wait until the calf is exhausting the milk supply. We plan to leave Jack Frost, our bull calf with Ellie until he is taking all of the milk and we are unable to meet the family’s milk needs.

During this time when I am milking Ellie but keeping her calf with her 24/7, I will begin training them both to expect our new routine. Since I spent so much time training Ellie, I have a lot more flexibility working with her.  As a first freshener, she was highly stressed leaving her calf to get into the milking stanchion.  While I wanted to create a routine, I worked within her comfort level.

She is trained well enough that I can milk her in the field with just a bucket of grain and a stool. My other cows would never have done this! By working with her, and not insisting on my own plan, she was more relaxed and easier to milk.  Within about 10 days, her hormones were settling and she was confident enough to get into the milking stanchion completely on her own. 

After a couple days, I started putting her calf into the calf pen when I wanted to milk her. Once she had a chance to ensure he was ok, I tempted her with a little bit of grain into the milking stanchion and continued as usual. These baby steps of training are working towards our goal of a peaceful calf separation process that keeps Mom-Zilla at bay! 

Mistake #5: Poor Pasture Management

Building a homestead from the ground up is a slow process. Another one of our challenges is pasture management. We don’t have enough paddocks to effectively separate a cow’s offspring for properly weaning.

One of the disadvantages to calf sharing is that the calves know where the good stuff comes from! Apollo, our first calf, was separated from his mother several months ago for weaning when he turned 6 months old.  Since cattle are herd animals, we try to keep another cow with them to keep everyone happy.

Our challenge is that Apollo can not be with his mother, but we have also discovered he can’t be with any other lactating cow. I’ve kept a weaning ring in his nose, but I suspect that he has been taking milk from Ellie.  She is struggling with sufficient milk supply so much so that I have been supplementing her calf with a bottle. It doesn’t help to have a yearling calf stealing the milk from a newborn!

While every farm will be different, consider the needs of your herd when setting up your paddocks and determining how many areas you need. 

Mistake #6: Not Halter Training My Calves Early Enough

One of the challenges of Dexter cattle is that they don’t fit standard cattle equipment. I purchased calf halters as soon as my calves were born but they didn’t fit.  We tried adding holes to the halter to be able to tighten it more snuggly. Still, the halters didn’t fit and came off their noses. After waiting many months for them to grow into their halters I ended up making my own rope halters. While they have some challenges in keeping them on and I am tweaking the design, the earlier you halter train your calves the better! 

Mistake #7: Milk Expectations

While calf sharing has many advantages, one of the disadvantages of calf sharing is the cream line. The creamiest milk is said to be the hind milk or the very last of the milk in the cow’s udder. Since I have chosen to leave some milk for my calves, I never get the hind milk until after my calves are weaned. My mistake was expecting the full benefits of well-produced raw milk including a healthy cream line from day one. 

While many people will share their impressive cream line photographs on social media when sharing the milk with their calf, be aware that is not always the case! Most people will tell you that the cow will save the best milk for her calf and it’s hard to argue that it’s true! In my limited experience this far into my family milk cow journey, I have found the cream line to be a disappointment until the calves are weaned. 

Final Thoughts: Learning from My Calf-Sharing Mistakes

Calf sharing has been a rewarding but humbling experience! I’ve learned many valuable lessons about training my cows, working with my animals, and proper milking routines. While I made plenty of mistakes along the way, each one has helped me refine my approach and become a better caretaker for my Dexter milk cows. 

Every one of my three cows has had very different lactation experiences. From terrifying Mom-Zilla moments, severe edema causing “strawberry milk”, a cow struggling with delayed milk production and low milk supply to having to sell a cow that didn’t meet the goals of our homestead.

I encourage you to build a community of “cow friends” to reach out to when times are challenging. Most importantly, enjoy the journey, and learn from your mistakes, and mine. I hope my experiences help you avoid common pitfalls and sets you up for success as you welcome a family milk cow to your homestead!